I remember when my relation with the person who I loved ended I cried, I cried so bad and so hard. I cried every single night for few months. I didn’t feel ashamed of it coz I loved her with everything I have. 3 years of pure love ended in the way we both didn’t wish for. But it happened, and we had to deal with it and get over it. To me 3 years of love are not easy to forget and move on.
Last night my father’s best friend passed away, Allah yer7amo and may Allah bless his soul. I received a SMS from my sis in Jordan telling me that he died and my father is crying and taking it hard. My father was with him in the morning both had breakfast together and at night the man passed away. To be honest I teared. I don’t know why but I felt soooo bad in a way I couldn’t hold myself from tearing. Am not a person who can easily cry, on the contrary since I was a little kid I “almost” never cried.
I am trying to know what made me tear today? I never cried when anyone of my relatives died, why this time? And for a person who isn’t related to me? I know I loved the man, he was always there for us when my father was out of the country, he stood up for me and got me out of troubles many times as he was a VERY high ranked official, my love to him is because of my dad’s love to him. But still not convinced that this is the reason.
Many thoughts are going through my mind since morning, bad ones to be more honest. I never heard or saw my father crying in my whole life, his father, mother and brother died but I never saw him crying or even heard that he cried, he was always as tough as a mountain. But now his best friend died he cried.
More than 45 years of friendship, brotherhood love, shared joy and sorrows. I think now I realize why he cried, I cried for 3 years of love, and what is that compared to a 45 years of brotherly friendship. I think realizing this is what made me feel sorry for him, he lost one of his closest people to his heart, but why cry now?? Why didn’t he cry when his father died? Is it maybe he feels he is becoming older? This makes me really feel bad, thinking of this is sooo disturbing in a really bad way. Is it that he became more emotional with time and as he is becoming older? Is it that he loved his friend this much that he couldn’t bear his death as he did with his own parents? Is it that he fears death? Especially he has young children and feels that we still need him and not ready to be on our own? Or is it……
These thoughts are killing me, its really a nasty disturbing feeling thinking of such things. These are what have been going through my mind since I read the SMS, I can’t think of anything else. I am just hoping that I can find something that can distract me from thinking about such things? I just feel alone now while trying to come out of this situation.
Allah yer7amak ya 3ammi abu thamer wenshalah Allah borzogak el janneh bala 7sab w Allah ysabber ahlak ya rab..
Allah ysabrak yaba w Allah ytawel bi 3omrak w ydeemlak se7tak w 3afeetak w ye3tek el goweh wel se7a w ydeemak fog rasi ya rab. I feel you dear dad, I know how it feels to lose someone that you really love and care for and had lots of lovely memories with. I was there and it killed me though to me it was only 3 years so I can imagin how 45 years of friendship and love would feel like. Allah ykon ma3ak ya ghali w ysabrak ~sigh~
فـي ذمة الله
الفاتحة على روح الفقيد الغالي و الله يرحم جميع أموات المسلمين
Wow..its been a long time since I have written anything here.
Last night my father’s best friend passed away, Allah yer7amo and may Allah bless his soul. I received a SMS from my sis in Jordan telling me that he died and my father is crying and taking it hard. My father was with him in the morning both had breakfast together and at night the man passed away. To be honest I teared. I don’t know why but I felt soooo bad in a way I couldn’t hold myself from tearing. Am not a person who can easily cry, on the contrary since I was a little kid I “almost” never cried.
I am trying to know what made me tear today? I never cried when anyone of my relatives died, why this time? And for a person who isn’t related to me? I know I loved the man, he was always there for us when my father was out of the country, he stood up for me and got me out of troubles many times as he was a VERY high ranked official, my love to him is because of my dad’s love to him. But still not convinced that this is the reason.
Many thoughts are going through my mind since morning, bad ones to be more honest. I never heard or saw my father crying in my whole life, his father, mother and brother died but I never saw him crying or even heard that he cried, he was always as tough as a mountain. But now his best friend died he cried.
More than 45 years of friendship, brotherhood love, shared joy and sorrows. I think now I realize why he cried, I cried for 3 years of love, and what is that compared to a 45 years of brotherly friendship. I think realizing this is what made me feel sorry for him, he lost one of his closest people to his heart, but why cry now?? Why didn’t he cry when his father died? Is it maybe he feels he is becoming older? This makes me really feel bad, thinking of this is sooo disturbing in a really bad way. Is it that he became more emotional with time and as he is becoming older? Is it that he loved his friend this much that he couldn’t bear his death as he did with his own parents? Is it that he fears death? Especially he has young children and feels that we still need him and not ready to be on our own? Or is it……
These thoughts are killing me, its really a nasty disturbing feeling thinking of such things. These are what have been going through my mind since I read the SMS, I can’t think of anything else. I am just hoping that I can find something that can distract me from thinking about such things? I just feel alone now while trying to come out of this situation.
Allah yer7amak ya 3ammi abu thamer wenshalah Allah borzogak el janneh bala 7sab w Allah ysabber ahlak ya rab..
Allah ysabrak yaba w Allah ytawel bi 3omrak w ydeemlak se7tak w 3afeetak w ye3tek el goweh wel se7a w ydeemak fog rasi ya rab. I feel you dear dad, I know how it feels to lose someone that you really love and care for and had lots of lovely memories with. I was there and it killed me though to me it was only 3 years so I can imagin how 45 years of friendship and love would feel like. Allah ykon ma3ak ya ghali w ysabrak ~sigh~
فـي ذمة الله
الفاتحة على روح الفقيد الغالي و الله يرحم جميع أموات المسلمين
Wow..its been a long time since I have written anything here.
4 comments:
alla yr7amo ya rb w nshalla m2wa el janne...
all the reasons you mentioned are valid in ur father's case...
alla y3eeno w ysabbro...
when men are younger they just don't think death is there even if people die around them it's like they're young and strong and it can't happen to them.. but it takes one really close person to pass away for them to realize how close it really is...alla y6awwel 3omro w y'7alleelkom ya ya rb....
it's hard for a son to see his father cry..'coz fathers are supposed to be strong and unbreakable...but they are humans after all.... it's normal...and as u said it's 45 years..45 years are longer than what he had spent with any of his family members that's really special...
I was just thinking about the same thing the other day.
I always had an impression that men do not cry, I never saw any of the men I know cry (Father, brother ... etc). But my view changed 100%. We are all human after all. Maybe you cried because your father did? Parents' tears are precious!
Allah yer7amo o ysabber ahlo.
Allah yir7amo wa ysaber ahlo wa il nas il bit7ibo wa yij3alo fe meezan 7asanathum...
it's soo hard to lose anyone you love whether it is to death or just lose them even when they are alive somehow by breaking up or ending a friendship...
the worst feeling in the world is to see your father.. the man you look up to in pain.. to see him cry when you thought it was impossible for him to cry.. to see him weak when he is the symbol of strength..
im going through something similar but far worse.. my dad had a brain stroke suddenly one night 5 months ago and ever since he cant speak move or even think like he used to.. :(-- to see him like this is the worse feeling in the world...
reading your post reminded me of him.. and i believe me i know how u feel...
Ladies I didn't see him cry el7amdulelah I was told that he did and it tore my heart apart to be honest just knowing it, and I thank god for not being there and seeing it.
el7amdulelah he got over it well atleast infront of us he sounds & looks ok bs I am sure that deep inside he is still sad.
Islamic_Chocoholic..Am sorry to hear that dear wenshalah Allah yeshfi aboki w yraje3lo se7to w 3afeeto ya rab w yeb3ed kol shar w 7ozon 3an baitkom :give:
Thx again for your nice wishes Ladies and sorry for replying late :give:
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